We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
