This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Randomize
