Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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