I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
