Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I am spending my child support on dildos
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Randomize
