I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize