just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
