just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Randomize
