and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Who put my cat in the fridge?
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize