We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
