Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
