Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
