He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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