I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
