someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
as a side note pls kill me
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