I cannot find my penis.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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