well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
