it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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