I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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