what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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