covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
she woke up with a sticky ear
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
