Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Randomize
