I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I hope mine doesn't look like that
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Hey
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GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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