I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
