i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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