What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
