She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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