so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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