Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Welp...herpes.
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Randomize
