I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
smell my finger.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Randomize
