I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
40s are totally the cure
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
