Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
you made out with another girl for some wings
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
