Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Bring me that man meat
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
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