From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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