I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
