its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
