At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
she peed on how many people?
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
You took a bar mat shot.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Randomize
