with your own penis?
Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
