Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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