Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Randomize
