Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
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