The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
mondays should just be called national damage control day
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
i black out too much to be "responsible"
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
