We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
