I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
