i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
