so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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