I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
and you fell through a lawn chair
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
