i just google imaged poop.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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