the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
It's blow job season.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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