That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
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