I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
