I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize