I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Randomize
