I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
it glows. i had to have it.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
