I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Randomize
