Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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