dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
