The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I stole a fireplace last night.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize