so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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