There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
