We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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