my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
