Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
